Commission Unit- Documentary Script Feedback

Andy and I have recently received some feedback for our basic documentary film piece script, which we submitted to our course mentor Helen earlier this week. The feedback can be seen here: A lot of the feedback we received mostly highlighted our lack of details when it comes to scripting exactly what the narrator and presenter will say during transitional segments. We also made a few amateur mistakes such as referring to the interviewees as "Interviewee A", "Interviewee B" etc, rather than actually highlighted what the interviewee will be. For example, are they part of the NoToMob that will be backing up their work, or will they be a council member talking about why the NoToMob aren't approaching the situation in the correct way? We will make proper changes to our script and make it easier to understand before our filming date.