Sunday, 28 February 2016

Major Project Unit- Planting seeds for the Final Episode.

I have recently begun scripting Episode 6 of Ascension, which will bring the story to its conclusion. However, something I noticed was that the format of the series (showing only one characters flashback per episode) made the final episodes plot come seemingly out of nowhere.
The final episode revolves around Stanley's plot of scuppering Dreizer's plans to steal a supply of Diamond Ore from the Falklands and going MIA. However, during the scripting process, I noticed that this elaborate subplot comes seemingly out of nowhere, without much prior explanation in episode 6.
Therefore, I decided to revisit some previous scripts I have written for previous episode and insert certain lines which would elude to what episode 6 would be about, so that this plot wouldn't be so out of place and out of nowhere.
For example, in Episode 1, Alex's father; Alexander now speaks with Alex about how he has had to negotiate with another mining company (Blackwater Mining Co.) for the rights to mine natural gas in the Falkland islands, but has had to postpone any mining activities, as Blackwater has discovered a vein of diamond ore in the Falklands, which they are mining and leaving in the care of the Royal Marines to be brought back home.
This plants some seeds for why Dreizer is in the Falklands (to steal the diamond ore) and also explains why the Royal Marines have access to the diamond ore supply, as they are the ones that are supposed to be bringing the ore back to the UK on Blackwater's behalf.

I am hoping that by adding this subplot, the story of episode 6 won't be so out of place, as several of it's plotpoints will have been alluded to in previous episodes.

Monday, 22 February 2016

Major Project Unit- Larry's Dialogue

Something that has been brought up a few times when receiving feedback for my scripts is the fact that Larry's dialogue doesn't quite make much sense. Not so much, WHAT he is saying, but HOW he is saying it.
I intended for Larry to be depicted as a bit of a country bumpkin, living in Scotland. However, the dialogue I have given him suggests that he is more American than anything.
In order to combat this problem, I have begun to investigate Scottish sayings and slang that I hope to incorporate into my script to make it seem more realistic and believable.
The website I have been using to do this was found after a simple google search; http://scotlandwelcomesyou.com/scottish-sayings/

I have managed to change a few of Larry's phrases and mannerisms to better suit his Scottish dialect. Here is an example of the way his dialogue has changed;
The original dialogue for Larry.

The Scottish-ized version of Larry's dialogue.
 I am hoping that the changes I have made for Larry will allow for him to have a much more realistic and believable character, as well as make him stand out more from the ways the other characters speak and act.

Thursday, 18 February 2016

Major Project Unit- Researching potential Networks and Timeslots.

Whilst writing my scripts, I have begun to research potential networks that "Ascension" may be suitable for being shown on. Originally, I had anticipated the American network, AMC due to its history of providing productions with high budgets (something Ascension would require) and the success the network has had in it's promotion and distribution with previous series such as Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead and Mad Men.
It quickly became apparent however that I could reduce the required budget for my production, and allow myself more creative freedom if I were to change the stories location to England, and in turn choose a British network for my series to be shown on.
I immediately began to to think of other British networks that show programmes in a series format, and thought of the BBC.

BBC is generally known for it's very traditional, family orientated programming, but has also been known for it's dramatic programming (such as it's popular soap, Eastenders) and content that could be considered not at all family friendly (such as Torchwood, which contains a lot of scenes featuring strong language and some sexual content.)
It is also no secret that the BBC is a very high-end, big budget network, which would definitely be able to afford the kind of budget required for the filming of Ascension, and as such, it appears that the BBC would be a perfect fit for the kind of Network my series screenplay could be submitted to. 

Something else I began to consider was the kind of timeslot I could aim for. The benefit of a much later timeslot is of course the fact that I would be able to be much more creative with my content, such as including strong language and violence if necessary. 
However, a later timeslot also has it's downside and restricts the reach that my series would have, as a large percentage of my potential audience (specifically children and people who wouldn't be awake for late night programming) would be lost. Therefore the issue becomes a compromise between having more creative freedom, and the practicality of wanting to reach a much wider audience.
 
At this point in time, I believe the prospect of getting a later timeslot with more creative options on the content in my series is a very attractive one, and it is something I am seriously considering aiming for.
The ability to have more violent scenes and stronger language (in order to add effect where neccessary) is something I think Ascension would benefit from, and therefore I will be continuing to write for this timeslot.
In the past, BBC has had programs that have occupied a 9pm timeslot (namely Torchwood) that have been successful enough to spawn further seasons, and as a result I feel that the kind of timeslot I am aiming would not have too much of an effect on the amount of viewers my series would sustain.

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Major Project- Draft 2 Script Feedback

I have just received feedback for the second draft of the first episode of "Ascension." I was very happy with the advice and critique I received, and I feel that I am on the correct path to producing a very viable, strong screenplay.


Some ideas I have had about how I can improve my script and make it seem more realistic involves the characters of Mitch and Jairo. In this draft of Episode 1, the character of Mitch has already gone to the lodge with Alex, and Jairo has yet to arrive.
I have been thinking that perhaps this was an unwise choice, and that it should in fact be Jairo that is already at the lodge, and Mitch who arrives late.
In the series, Mitch is "the devil" in Alex's ear, and his drug dealer. Alex's original reason for leaving for the lodge at all was to attempt to recover from his new cocaine addiction, and spend time with his friends. I feel that inviting Mitch to come and stay with him would defeat the purpose of going to the lodge in the first place, and therefore wouldn't make much sense at all.

I also believe that the introduction of Mitch later in the series would allow for a great cliffhanger. Imagine for example if Alex already establishes that everyone has arrived (Cindy, Stanley, Jairo and himself,) and then there is an ominous banging on the lodge door in the middle of nowhere in a blizzard.
Not only would this add atmosphere and a sense of fear of the unknown, it would also give Mitch more of a personality through his actions, having appeared at a gathering he wasn't invited to, purely to flog drugs to Alex.

I will continue to develop this script alongside the scripts for the other episodes.

Monday, 15 February 2016

Major Project Unit- Developing a Scriptwriting Identity and Critical Analysis of my Own Work

Something I have noticed about my script-writing style, is that it seems very forced and cookie cutter. Although I believe my confidence with writing description and believable dialogue is improving, I think there are several ways that my script language and stye could be improved, in order to create a much more personal and interesting read.

During the course of my research, I came across a script for an episode of LOST, and found that the descriptive language and stage instructions seem much more informal compared to the kind of instructions and directions I have written in my own script.
The above script excerpt contains some elements that make it seem much more chatty and conversational when compared to my own work. Strong language in the stage directions and the inclusion of words and phrases that go against the "Do not script something you cannot show onscreen" rule make the script much more humanized and informal.

This got me thinking about my own work. After re-reading some of my scripts so far, it seems that my scripts are very impersonal, and almost robotic in nature- in terms of the directional and descriptive language used. Although I disagree with some of the ways the writers of LOST have written their scripts, I understand that it is simply a different writing style to my own.

It was interesting investigating other people's scripts, especially those that were used to create actual television products, as a lot of them were incredibly different in style, which suggests to me that there is no particularly right style in which to write a script, and that the style in which a script should be written should simply be done in a way that appeals to the commissioner/ producer or whoever is looking to purchase a script.

Although I have seen several scripts adopting this more informal style of writing, I think it would be beneficial for me to retain some sense of formality in my own scripts in order to appeal to a much larger percentage of potential commissioning possibilities.

Major Project- Life in 1970s/80s UK and Popular Culture.

In order to present a more realistic depiction of life in the UK in the 1970s and 1980s, I have decided to some investigation into how people that were alive in that period saw life. This should allow me to write and describe the atmospheres I want to portray much more clearly.

During my investigations, I came across some investigative difficulties which I was not expecting, which I will outline in this blog. I first began my investigation by taking a look at fashion magazines, music videos and celebrities around the time of the 1980s. At first glance, this seemed like an appropriate way for me to begin my research, so that I may learn more about what the 1980s were like.
The problem is, a lot of the fashions, celebrities and music videos I found featured extremely flamboyant styles, featuring bright colours and complicated hair styles and fashion. Now while the 1980s celebrity scene and popular culture is renowned for it's overly flamboyant styles, it does NOT provide a realistic depiction of what the fashion and styles of everyday people in the 1980s would have been like, and therefore perhaps my researching popular culture and fashion magazines in order to see what people would have looked and dressed like is not the way to go.
I suppose a good comparison of where I have gone wrong with my research so far is as if I were using Lady Gaga's music video outfits to find a realistic depiction of the fashion of 2009.


 Michael Jackson's outfit in "Thriller" for example, although iconic of the kind of fashion celebrities were depicted as wearing in film and music videos, does NOT give a realistic depiction of how the everyday person would have dressed.

I then decided it would be more plausible for me to find written accounts online from everyday people about what the fashion and attitudes towards styles and culture was like back then. I came across this article; http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6752415.stm 
A list of user submitted comments at the end of the article provides decent insights into the general consensus towards 1980s style, and popular culture. Recurring themes seem to be people referencing spiky, outrageous hair, fluorescent coloured clothing, and people being somewhat androgenous in the way they dress.
One user sums the time up as being "A time when straight men wore pink."

A user also states that "The news was all about the Miners and AIDS", which suggests that these were very relevant, important topics in that decade. These news stories both seem to revolve around the idea of fear (The fear of losing ones job, and the fear that comes with the disease AIDS) which suggests that financial consciousness and fear of death and illness may have been topics of high importance at that time.
I also found this article; http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6752835.stm which explains that the threat of Nuclear War was also a big topic of discussion in the 1980s, once again tapping into societies fear of imminent destruction.
I am not sure exactly what kind of importance these factors would have on my story, if any- but I am slowly beginning to develop an idea about how people growing up in the early 1980s may have thought and operated.

Monday, 8 February 2016

Major Project- Alex's Addiction.

Something I want to explore in my series, is Alex's addiction to cocaine. The second episode contains flashbacks which allude to Alex's addiction to cocaine which is brought on by a number of factors, including pressure from his dealer (who is later revealed to be Mitch), the stress of having to live up to his father's expectations, and his problems with drink.

In order to fully explore how it would be possible for Alex to become addicted to cocaine, and what kind of effect cocaine would have on his body, I decided to do some investigation into what the drug can do.

I browsed some health forums, and found that the general consensus among users was that it is very possible to become addicted to cocaine from the first try, meaning it would not take a lot of usage at all in order for someone to become reliant on it. This is something I think would be useful for the story I would like to tell, as I need to be able to show Alex becoming hooked on the stuff in a relatively short amount of time.
I also needed to realistically come up with a way for Alex to begin taking the drug. Afterall, the decision to take cocaine isn't one that someone could take lightly. Therefore I decided to investigate the idea that perhaps Mitch spikes Alex with the drug somehow, and Alex becomes addicted that way. In a way, I prefer to idea of Alex becoming addicted due to something out of his control, as not only does it add to his character as being somewhat naive to Mitch's ulterior motives, it also adds to Mitch's character of being a very cold, and calculating person that has no real loyalty to anyone.

Finally, I decided to check out what kind of effects the drug has on the human body, so that I could create a realistic depiction of a person under the influence of cocaine in my series. In finding this information, I found the following sites useful:
http://www.healthboards.com/boards/addiction-recovery/455748-cocaine-use-how-soon-do-you-get-addicted.html  (Information on the effects cocaine has on loved ones as well as abusers.)
http://www.talktofrank.com/drug/cocaine (FRANKS official website with a section on cocaine, listing the positive and negative effects. Also contains stories from users explaining the reason for them taking the drug, and the effect it had on themselves and the people around them.)

All in all, I found that the effects of cocaine include;

  • A feeling of being "on top of the world" which leads to risk-taking behaviour, followed by a horrible come-down that can last for days.
  • A tendancy to become more "social".
  • Increased body temperature.
  • Heart palpitations. 
  • Hallucinations.
  • Sleeplessness
  • Reduction of appetite (leading to excessive weight-loss)
  • Paranoia
These effects give me a lot to experiment with and use to tell a story in my series. For example, before the cocaine is even introduced to the audience, I can have subtle hint to show that Alex is a cocaine user, such as having him complain that the temperature in the room is too hot (even though everyone else is cold) or have him look comparably thinner compared to a past version of himself. 
A more obvious and interesting effect I would like to play with are the hallucinations and paranoia. 
I think some very interesting imagery could be shown with Alex experiencing some hallucinations in the barren Scottish Highlands, and the paranoia aspect could be used to add some conflict between himself and the characters around him.

All in all, I think the idea of Alex being a cocaine user opens the door for story-telling opportunities throughout the series (and in particular episode 2, which will explore how he became an addict, and the effect it has had on himself and his family).
I am looking forward to exploring the ways I can show his symptoms of addiction through his actions and interactions with the characters and environment around him, and I am particularly looking forward to seeing what kind of hallucinogenic effects I can come up with for him to experience during his time at the lodge. 

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Major Project- Researching Treatments

As I am near to finishing the 2nd draft of episode 1 of Ascension, and because time is quickly passing, I have decided it would be worth me checking out some script treatments online in order to get a better understanding of what exactly makes a treatment successful.

One particularly useful source I found was this PDF by Screen Australia which explains the differences between a synopsis, an outline and a treatment. In the past I have had some trouble differentiating between a synopsis and treatment in particular, and as such I found this information to be incredibly useful.

The PDF also gives an example of a treatment from the drama; Lantana, and gives some very useful information on the length a treatment should be, as well as the kind of language and phrases that are suitable to use in a treatment document.
From what I have discovered, a treatment seems to be a mirror opposite of a script, in the way that while a script is all about showing and not telling, a treatment is very much about telling, and not showing. The actual style in which a treatment is created (third person and including events from different perspectives) is also very much done in a way that makes it seem similar to how a person would describe the events of a television series to one of their friends (albeit in a much less opinionated, more formal style.)

When creating my treatments, I will have to bare in mind that I will not be able to use any lines of dialogue for effect, due to the fact that treatments do not include dialogue, and as a result, I will have to think of other ways I can create atmosphere and a compelling story that would keep a reader engaged enough to want to learn more.

It is important for me to remember that the aim of my treatments is to keep the viewer interested, and give them a clear, understandable idea of the story I am trying to tell in my series. Therefore I will need to completely understand my story myself before I begin creating my treatments, so that there can be absolutely no confusion or misunderstandings.

Another useful site I found is this one, which actually gives detailed explanations of how to format a treatment, and further elaborates on the kind of language that should be used. For example, unlike a script, terms such as "We see..." or "We hear..." and camera directions are strictly prohibited.

By investigating treatments from different sources online I am slowly getting used to the kind of language and styles treatments are written in, and I feel that very soon I will be ready to begin writing my own.

Saturday, 6 February 2016

Major Project- Too Much Description!

Something I have noticed in my scripts is that I have a tendency to become extremely (some might say overly) descriptive when describing locations and characters. Whilst in most written media (such as novels and other story-books) this would be a great thing to have, when writing for a script, it is important to consider that only the bare essentials of description are needed and only the most important things about a room or person should be described in order to save time, and make the script isn't bloated with too much detail so that the reader (in this case a director, actors and anybody else that would be reading the script) can easily understand what is happening without having to sift through unneeded description.

I came across this website; https://scriptcat.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/avoid-the-bad-habit-of-overwriting-your-screenplay/ which gives a "before" and "after" example of a script segment that has a lot of un-needed description, and a script that has had it's description cleaned up for easier reading.

After checking out this website, I decided to apply the suggestions I had found there to my own script, and found that a lot of the descriptions in my script were unnecessary. In the future, I will be sure to limit my descriptions in order to make my scripts easier to follow, and I will be sure to keep only the most necessary descriptions. For example, for a scene that takes place in a kitchen, I would not need to mention that there is a sink, or a fridge and freezer, as this is usually assumed simply from the location the scene takes place in. Therefore it could be left out of the script. 

Major Project- Constructing Flashbacks

Something I have found difficult is using flashbacks to effectively tell a story. In the first episode of "Ascension", each character has a flashback sequence (besides Mitch, who merely appears in Alex's flashback) but I have found that this only really works in the first episode, as they are used to introduce some of the character's initial traits and characteristics.
I feel that having multiple characters flashbacks in other episodes would cause some confusion as to what is happening. So many flashbacks in different time periods, telling different stories for different characters could be incredibly confusing for viewers.
I have found a potential solution to this though.
The television program "Lost" uses flashbacks to effectively tell the stories of character's pasts, and does so by only showcasing one particular character's flashbacks per episode. This means that a viewer understands that one particular character's story is being showcased, and they can follow the progression of said story easily, without confusion.

My original idea was to simply have multiple character's flashbacks in each episode, but after writing down the "Moments" that would appear in each episode in a style that involves every characters flashbacks, even I found it difficult to follow what was going on.

I feel that one particular character having flashbacks per episode mean that the character's backstory will be easier to follow, and as such, I think this is the route I shall take with my writing.

Flashbacks could be structured in accordance with each episode and done in a way such as this-
Episode 1- Contains flashbacks introducing each character.
Episode 2- Contains Alex's flashbacks explaining how he became a drug addict, and his motivation for wanting to have a get-together at the mansion (part of a self-rehab process).
Episode 3- Contains Cindy's flashbacks explaining how she was treated in her workplace and her motivation for leaving for the lodge. (Had enough of being mistreated, decided to quit and left for the lodge to prolong having to explain her quitting to her father.)
Episode 4- Contains Jairo's flashbacks explaining why he was so unhappy after leaving school. (Couldn't connect with people in the workplace, felt like an outcast due to his race etc. And why he wanted to visit the lodge- Lonely and wanted to reconnect with friends)
Episode 5- Contains Mitch's flashbacks showing why he is racist, how his dreams of being a footballer were broken, and why he turned to being a drug dealer (and in particular targeting Alex as a potential client.)
Episode 6- Contains Stanley's flashbacks explaining how he was wrongly accused of a massacre in the Falklands, and how he decided to take Alex up on his offer to come and stay at his lodge in Scotland,in an attempt to lay low and avoid the law.

Friday, 5 February 2016

Major Project- Researching Cambridge Graduation Ceremonies

Based on the first script draft I submitted, I have chosen to do some research into the way the Cambridge graduation system in the past was performed. The reason for this is so that my depiction of Cindy's graduation can be historically accurate.
The ceremony I previously scripted was based on my own interpretation of the graduation ceremony, which I believe I may have based on the many depictions of the process which I have seen in movies and television shows. The main problem with this, is that the movies and television shows I have seen ceremonies in are often located in the USA, a place where the graduation process is very extravagant, especially in comparison to the much more formal, low-key British graduations.

I began my research on the internet, and came across this article by Marie Beard entitled; "A Don's Life- Degree Results" in which she describes the past process of collecting degree results.
She explains that the process basically involved the students results being available to be seen on some kind of notice board for all to see. This is a far cry from the graduation ceremonies I am used to, which usually involve the results being confidential, and the receiving of them being overly extravagant, and a big deal.

Marie also names the actual building where the results could be found, which is called the "Senate House"
Now that I know exactly what the process would have been in the past for collecting degree results, as well as having several images of the actual location the results would have been collected at, I should be able to craft and script a story that is much more historically correct.

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Major Project- Screenwriting Research, What do I Capitalize?

Based on feedback received for the first draft of my series; Ascension, I have begun to put some more thought into how exactly I should structure my script, most notably, what and why I should capitalize certain words in screenplays. This is an area I have yet to explore, and so I decided to do some online research into why certain words and phrases are capitalized in scripts, and therefore learn where I should capitalize in my own work.
I came across this website: https://www.screenwritinggoldmine.com/forum/threads/capitalization-in-action-lines.3451/ which features many discussion boards which are frequented by screenwriters and people in the industry where they can share ideas and their own scripts. I found this thread where the subject of what to capitalize is brought.
I believe this post in particular is fantastic reasoning for capitalizing certain words and phrases;

The main reason for the capitalization of certain words and phrases seems to be to add emphasis to certain aspects of the description. It almost seems to be done this way in order for the words to stand out from the page, as if someone skim-reading the script would automatically pay attention to the few words that are capitalized and get a general idea of the actions happening, and the general atmosphere of the scene without having to fully read the script.

With this in mind, I returned to my script and made a few changes
As you can see, although the changes are minimal, there is much more emphasis on certain words thanks to my usage of capitalization. This means that if I were to submit my script to a production company (who assumingly has many scripts, and doesn't have time to read through all of them) they would be able to skim read my work, and still get an idea of what is going on, and the feel of the scene I have created without having to spend too much time reading it.

I also came across this website; https://www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting/CAPITALIZATION-in-Screenplays which discusses the idea that the usage of capitalized words in terms of sound is quite subjective. The general consensus seems to be that as long as the script reads well, and emphasis is placed on certain aspects that make sense, capitalzation can be used to accentuate certain words or not, depending on whether or not the script writer feels it necessary.

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Major Project- Draft 1 Script Feedback

I recently received feedback from several sources about the first draft I created for "Ascension." below you can find the complete first draft of the series.

The feedback I received mostly revolved around the realism of the scenario I had created, most notably these aspects;
  • The period of time between Stanley shooting Sergeant Dreizer and returning to the UK (Three days)
  • The fact a cable car exists in the Scottish Highlands.
  • Some of the dialogue used. (A lot of characters say certain phrases and speak in a way that sounds "Americanised") I need to focus on researching exactly how English people speak, and make it seem authentic for the location and time period the series is set in.
  • I need to make every flashback have importance, and make them interesting. Some of the flashbacks, particularly the one with Cindy, seem unrealistic and straight-up boring. I need to focus on making every flashback an experience, and use them to further the story.
It was also suggested that I pay careful attention to my script format, making sure to use proper punctuation in scene headings, and also making sure the content of my script makes sense when taking the scene heading into account. For example, in Scene 2, the heading reads;
2. INT. MESS HALL. APPROACHING EVENING.
And the scene description begins immediately with the words; "Inside one of the buildings...".
This sentence is completely redundant, as the scene heading already establishes that the scene takes place inside a location, as evident by the INT. part of the heading. Avoiding this problem in the future will allow me to remove a good portion of unneeded text from my script.

My script was praised for having a strong beginning and ending, and it seems most of the problems seem to revolve around the stuff that happens in the middle.