I have just received feedback for the second draft of the first episode of "Ascension." I was very happy with the advice and critique I received, and I feel that I am on the correct path to producing a very viable, strong screenplay.
Some ideas I have had about how I can improve my script and make it seem more realistic involves the characters of Mitch and Jairo. In this draft of Episode 1, the character of Mitch has already gone to the lodge with Alex, and Jairo has yet to arrive.
I have been thinking that perhaps this was an unwise choice, and that it should in fact be Jairo that is already at the lodge, and Mitch who arrives late.
In the series, Mitch is "the devil" in Alex's ear, and his drug dealer. Alex's original reason for leaving for the lodge at all was to attempt to recover from his new cocaine addiction, and spend time with his friends. I feel that inviting Mitch to come and stay with him would defeat the purpose of going to the lodge in the first place, and therefore wouldn't make much sense at all.
I also believe that the introduction of Mitch later in the series would allow for a great cliffhanger. Imagine for example if Alex already establishes that everyone has arrived (Cindy, Stanley, Jairo and himself,) and then there is an ominous banging on the lodge door in the middle of nowhere in a blizzard.
Not only would this add atmosphere and a sense of fear of the unknown, it would also give Mitch more of a personality through his actions, having appeared at a gathering he wasn't invited to, purely to flog drugs to Alex.
I will continue to develop this script alongside the scripts for the other episodes.
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